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Twitter Jokes

Date:

2013-

Genre:

Observational comedy, black comedy, blue comedy, satire, political satire, religious satire, surreal humour, shock humour, wit, word play, sarcasm

Subjects:

Current events, death, terrorism, sex, politics, religion, profanity, grammar, spelling, genocide, disability, vegetarianism

Jackninja5 made many jokes on Twitter. Starting from March 2, 2015, Jackninja5 has decided to make memes.

2013

  • 28 June: "WTF might not always be a swear! It could mean "Win the For(k)""
  • 28 June: "All the words in world are now being used to be rude to someone! What happened to their original meanings? Soon the nicest word would be one"
  • 2 November: "I realised that it is ok to call a guy a dick but not ok to call a girl a cunt! They are both for their genitals! It should be fine!"
  • 2 November: "I like the words country, swank, snigger, stick and castle because I can say cunt, wank, nigger, dick and arsehole without people worrying"
  • 2 November: "You can prick your finger but you can't finger your prick"
  • 2 November: "The c word? Hmm! There are loads of c words and 5 of them are bad! So the c word could be cunt, cocksucker, clit, cornhole or choad!"
  • 2 November: "You pronounce "country" as "cunt-ree" but you pronounce "count" as "cownt"! Seriously what the hell!"
  • 2 November: "Something is NOT "fucking stupid" unless it is stupid penetration!"
  • 2 November: "Why was the cat too scared to cross the road? Because he was a PUSSYcat :P"
  • 2 November: ""I swear to God" Don't swear to God :P If you say "I swear to God" then I guess that means you are gonna say "fuck you, God" :P"
  • 2 November: "Santa Claus talking to three prostitutes: "Ho, ho, ho" :P"
  • 3 November: "If you are ugly, then you are safe from rapists :P"
  • 10 November: "Put cheese up your ass and then it will seem like a fart >:D"

2014

  • 13 January: "Every child is special! Doesn't that sound offensive? They aren't special! They just haven't learnt yet :P"
  • 9 May: "I have been told to have sexual relations with myself (go fuck yourself) before! I can't, dumbass :P"
  • 22 September: "I saw in my "Who to follow" section that I should follow Tony Abbott.....HELL NO!"
  • 22 September: "Many people were surprised when they heard that Saddam Hussein had been hung. The word is "hanged" :P"
  • 29 September: "You can easily insult people who deaf and blind. So I can make fun of them and they can't do a thing about it >:P"
  • 29 September: "On September 11 2014, 9/11 could finally get a Wikia account :P"
  • 18 October: "How many birds were shot down by Russians? Well those birds were really passenger planes :P"
  • 25 October: "Euphemisms to me are dysphemisms. They hide the truth. "F-word" still puts "fuck" in a person's head. So don't f-word me :P"
  • 28 October: "On my trip to Turkey, I learnt how to hang a Greek :P"
  • 2 November: "People say Hitler wasn't a vegetarian...don't deny the only good thing about him :P"
  • 29 November: "The first man on the moon was actually from Hiroshima :P"
  • 2 December: "To my 1000 subscribers, thanks. I couldn't ask for better fans. It would hurt your feelings :P"
  • 8 December:
"Typical Aussie:
"#ArmenianGenocide Get over it
"#Anzac troops in Gallipoli: NEVER FORGET
":P"
  • 8 December: "Many say never forget 9/11...what kind of a guy do you think I am? I remembered the Holocaust and Hiroshima."

2015

  • 10 January: "Now finally for a joke since most of my tweets have been very serious. Why did the H kill himself? Because the G had :P"
  • 6 February: "The amount of idiots are increasing...this is where an abortion is needed. :P"
  • 6 February: "Why'd we invade Iraq? I thought the hijackers were from Saudi Arabia. :P"
  • 24 February: "I'm not smart. People are just very stupid :P"
  • 24 February: "Why is it called the Middle East when it is in Western Asia?"
  • 2 March: "In an Armenian Genocide documentary, it said the Armenians couldn't believe their government would do such a massacre...neither do they. C:"

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